


Killer Bees

by keepitdreamin



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Gen, fanscript, killer bees, normal day in night vale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 18:52:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3661239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepitdreamin/pseuds/keepitdreamin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Welcome to Night Vale Fanscript</p>
<p>There are Killer Bees in Night Vale and well, yeah.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Killer Bees

The future is dark. Luckily, we all have headlamps to show us the way.

Welcome to Night Vale.

 

Night Vale has a very serious problem with BEES, dear listeners. These “Killer Bees” or _*ahem*_ Afracanized Honey Bees- scientifically known as “Apis Mellifera Scutellata,” as my dear, smart Carlos taught me this morning before the show- have somehow been carried in over the desert with that sandstorm we had last Tuesday.

I have witnessed some of these bees, listeners, and they didn't _seem_ that big a deal. They were just around, like the Mysterious Hooded Figures. Just things we don't understand and try to avoid thinking about. But Carlos  did warn me to not get too close or aggravate the bees because when they attack as a group they can be lethal, hence the name “Killer” bees... Did you hear that, listeners? Carlos is worried for my safety! _*Sigh*_ Perfect Carlos... Anyway, more on this story as it develops.

 

A rash of break-ins has occurred in Old Town Night Vale. Residents and victims of these break-ins are not so much mad as they are vaguely annoyed.

“I am vaguely annoyed,” complained a resident into my intercom this morning. “These break-ins are such a hindrance. I get up every morning and BAM there's my door, broken in half. Nothing's missing of course but the few minutes it takes each morning to perform the proper door repairal ritual costs me precious time and it's just broken again the next day. So what I'm thinking of doing a very zen, beaded curtain instead of a door. What do you think, Cecil?” I gave the standard warnings about beads and doorways, but, overall, I feel it'd be a very bold statement and definitely VERY zen.

 

An update on the Killer Bee situation, listeners. Intern Cameron went to the park where the bees had gradually converged to try to get a statement. In this voice mail she left me, you can hear a very loud buzzz and her trying to shout some questions over the horrible noise. After a while, Cameron gave up and shouted into the phone, “I don't think they understand me-eaahhhh!!” Then the call cut off, dear listeners. I can only assume the worst. To the family and friends of Intern Cameron, our deepest apologies. However, according to her Intern application, her number 3 preferred death was “A Swarm” so... That worked out. She will be placed on out Hidden Intern Wall of Fame to be revealed at the next full moon Intern Remembrance Ceremony. We look forward to not seeing any of you there.

 

And now a word from our sponsors:

Goose.

 

Let's have a look at traffic. The City Council and the Sheriff's Secret Police have advised against leaving your homes today because of the danger posed by the Killer bees. So the roadways look remarkably clear today, listeners. Too bad nobody gets to benefit from the free lanes. This has been Traffic.

 

John Peters, you know, the farmer? Well, he has reported that the _*sciency tone* Afracanized Bees_ have made their way to his imaginary corn field. Apparently, the Bees have eaten the ENTIRE crop and are having some strange reactions. They are GROWING, listeners, and their- **BUZZZZZ-** the- **BUZZZZZZ** \- we- **BUUUUZZZZZ** \- I take- **BUUUUUZZZZZZ** \- you now- **BUUUUUUZZZZZZZZ** \- in this- **BUUZZZZZZ** \- to the- **BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ** -

 

Kingdom- PJ Liguori

 

We're back, listeners. Over the break, the Bee situation was solved! For those of you who missed it or are just awakening from hyper sleep- First, Hello! Welcome to Night Vale! Second, the Bees grew to sizes previously unheard of in Night Vale and that horrible, incessant SOUND, that terrible BUZZ, filled all our brains, drowned out our thoughts and lives in its tremendous being. Several of our citizens gifted with extreme sensitivity to psychic sounds could not endure the sheer wall of noise and perished. Our hearts go out to the loved ones of those who died in what we are calling the “Killer Bee Disaster of 2015”... until someone can find a cooler, catchier name for it. I will be asking on Tumblr and Twitter so be sure to submit your best ideas!

_Anyway_ , the bees grew with their noise until... Well, dear listeners, I do not understand the science behind the event, but it seemed that they simply grew TOO big to be allowed and just _vanished._

Where they went and if they will one day return, I do not know, dear listeners. But now, as the sun sets on the vast desert and our minds are our own once again, or, at least, as our own as they ever were, let the gentle silence engulf you, filled only with the strange yet familiar sounds of Night Vale, and bring you closer to your dreams.

Stay tuned next for 18 uninterrupted hours of the Ping- Pong world championship.

Good night, Night Vale. Good night.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to PJ's album (KickThePJ on youtube) when I wrote this, which is why his song is the weather. I recommend everyone listen to it right away.
> 
> If you see any mistakes or anything, please let me know!


End file.
